I'm sitting downstairs in the den of the house, surrounded by a bunch of square, brown boxes, each about the size of two large shoeboxes glued together. They are all quite hefty, weighing in at exactly 5 kilos or 11.5 pounds. They arrived on a gigantic pallette being carried inside a vibrantly orange world courier truck. If, perchance, someone on home dialysis is reading this right now, you already know what I'm talking about. These boxes are all filled with double layered, perfectly sterile, plastic bags, that in turn are filled with dialysate (sp?) solution. Basically they're boxes with water in them. All the space that was cleared out down here on Saturday is going to be filled with these boxes. There are about...well, I want to say about thirty. I can't see quite all of them from where I'm sitting. I'll guess there are about 35. Two weeks worth, at any rate. These little brown boxes hold the key to dad's home dialysis, which will be beginning on the 4th of July...our own little independence day. He'll finally be free of the wretched clinic with it's sappy nurses and whacked out schedule. And maybe, just maybe, he can find a little peace of mind and start to heal. He can certainly get back onto a normal schedule, instead of getting up at 5:30am and shuffling off to a bright, stark clinic full of people who want to suck away his blood. (What is it about medical people and ungodly hours of the night and day?) Soon more stuff will be arriving, as well as two nurses from the clinic to oversee our first day at home with the NxStage machine. Apparently we're the only folks in East Tennessee to ever try it. I suppose that makes us special, though I must admit it doesn't seem very important. It's a darned nifty machine, though. Bloody efficient. And there are enough color coded tubes involved in this process to make your head spin!

As for me...well. I've mostly spent my week off doing a lot of cooking and gaming. Once again, I'm pretty bored replaying the same old video games over and over again. They're all excellent games, but still. One gets tired of doing the same thing over and over again no matter how high quality the experience is. Tomorrow will officially be seven days since the completion of my novel, so that means it's time to start editing again. I need to read Holly Lisle's articles on the matter before I get started, though. After her interview with Mur at ISBW, I want to do my drafts exactly like she does, because I'm the kind of person who gets bored quickly, and if I have to edit my novel more then once or twice, it's going to be hell. I'd rather have a long and bloody first editing process then a slow, comfortable one that gets dragged out over several months. This novel has been dragged out long enough already. I promise that by the end of this year, it will be finished, and I mean totally finished. Admittedly, I still have no idea what I'm going to do with it when I'm done, or if I've even got the guts to try and get it published somehow, but I'll deal with that when the time comes. I plan on asking a lot of questions of the good folks at the ISBW forums and bugging all the podcasters I know for help. I have absolutely no doubt I'll find someone who knows something. :)

( Whining about time off, and the recollection of dreams... )

Anyway. I've rambled on for far too long as it is. :) Time for bed. As Alton said once: Strange times a comin'...but tasty.

Website update.

If you visited AR first, you'll know what I'm about to say next. If you've skipped the link in favor of reading what I've got to say here first, then let me enlighten you...

MY NOVEL IS FINISHED!

OK, so imagine yourself being bathed in a warm glow of happy sunshine right now, all of it coming off of my body, through my monitor, and onto you through your own monitor. =D Heehee!! I am so happy. The event happened yesterday, as witnessed by Hel. I have officially finished my monster novel! It ended naturally (I didn't have to intrude on any battle scenes or anything) and at exactly 200,519 words. That's including the lovely pretty "The End" I put on the last page. :) I was absolutely exhausted after I finished and pretty sore too, so I followed Dr. Helen's excellent advice and went upstairs to give myself a nice, warm bath. Felt fantastic. (Even though they clearly don't make bath tubs for tall people) In fact, I might make it an end of novel tradition. Finish a long story? Take a nice, long, warm bath. =D Beats taking pain medication any day. I think next time I'll even fix myself some tea and bring it along.

It's kind of funny, really. I'm very happy that I've finished my novel, but I'm not really bouncing off the walls about it as much as I probably should be, or as much as your average person would be. To me, once I started writing--really writing, the doubt about finishing suddenly evaporated. Ever since I started back in on TSW, I knew that I would finish. There was no more question about it. I knew what to do, and I did it. So getting here kind of seems a little anticlimactic because I've been expecting it for a couple of months now. Besides, my novel really isn't finished yet. There is still a BUTTload of editing to do. I have got to cut this thing in at least half, if not more then that. On average for new writers, to have any chance of survival your novel should be about 80,000 words. I think I've exceeded that a bit! ^_^() But I'll make it. It'll be bloody, just like Holly Lisle says, but I'm really looking forward to it. TSW needs to be cleaned up really badly. It got drug out over several years of creative process, and it's messy because of it. Once it's been edited, printed, been presented to my First Readers for analysis and returned, then I'll think of myself as done. Truly done. Right now, my biggest worry is how to pay for all the copies I'll have to print to send out to publishers/editors/whoever, and whether or not my First Readers will actually find the story interesting and stimulating. Everything else is a cakewalk compared to that.

Speaking of cake! =D I didn't actually bake anything today, but my forced week off from writing to recoup my creative processes has given me some time to get back to cooking. I have to be honest--I've put on some weight waiting for mom to become available once again for the diet plan and the walking. This, however, is in no way her fault and the responsibility lies entirely with myself. I got a little excited with myself and lazy, too, as I focused on my book instead of my food. So lately I've been consuming way too much grain, and, big surprise! It's starting to show. But after feeling so sick tonight, I'm back on track once again. I'm going to be a good girl, do my stretches every single night, (being limber is very important as a writer) and I'm going to start searching for vegetarian recipes online. I am not actually a vegetarian, but I need way more veggies in my diet and that's the best way I can think of to get them there. Plus, I'm darned close to being a vegetarian as it is. I hate eating meat, with the exception of turkey. Sliced and ground being my usual modes of consumption. Mom made some fried chicken the other day, and I asked her to share a little so I could taste it. Thought I was going to hurl. It wasn't her cooking, it was just the fact that I loathe chicken with a passion of a thousand burning suns. (And always have) Beef follows close behind. I don't know what I was thinking grabbing a piece. Stupid Amanda! No biscuit! Even though I'll be making them for breakfast tomorrow morning. :) I won't be eating any, but it's become a bit of a tradition for me to cook biscuits on Saturdays. Then I sit on the couch with mom and dad and we watch hilarious Star Trek (OS) reruns on G4 all day. It's so much fun.

Dialysis situation progresses well. It's been a bumpy ride, but I think this whole process will work out well long term. Dad's health has improved dramatically with the switch to daily treatments, and mom seems to be learning how to stick needles into him quite deftly. Even better then some of the nurses there, which is no great surprise. Mom is awesome when it comes to learning how to do things like this. I never had a moment's doubt in her. And, I think, neither did dad. ♥ (They're such a sweet couple. I hope I find somebody like that in my future.) Soon some of the medical supplies will be arriving, as well as a recliner for dad to use while he dialyzes. In a week or so, the machine itself will arrive, along with a couple of nurses from dad's clinic to oversee our first day of home dialysis. After that, it'll be up to mom. I'm not touching a single thing. Not only is it illegal, but it is the last thing in this world I want to do. So I am happy to stand back and not watch. =) I love my dad dearly and I do not wish him to die or be in pain...and I also do not want to handle any needles, watch any needles being inserted, watch any blood spurting which may occur, or become Nurse Amanda in any way, shape, or form. Mom and dad, being the truly kickass parents that they are, have made it clear they will not involve me in the process at all. Not even a little bit. In fact if I want to come downstairs and pretend like the whole business isn't really happening, that's fine by them. Did I mention they kicked ass?

In a completely random announcement, I am so totally blushing and grinning dumbly at the mention and/or sight of David Tennant, our esteemed Tenth Doctor. Christopher Eccleston is an amazing actor and totally awesome as the Doctor, but I pick David as my favorite between the two. He's so darn cute. XD And the best part is that I no longer feel like I have to hide the fact that I think he's cute from the world. This probably seems rather stupid to the rest of you but trust me, it's quite the achievement for me. Yay! My dad's no longer an ogre! I can live life! I'm allowed to be a human being! Hurrah! =D

So! That's all from me for now. :) I've got to go play around with hair styles on Gaia now. Bye chickens. ♥

Well, as of June 1st, some major changes will happen in my house. That's the day mom and dad start training for home dialysis with the NxStage machine. It'll be a pretty rough few weeks while everything gets sorted out, especially for mom since she'll not only have to learn how to dialyze dad properly, but go to work, come home, find time to pursue our new workout schedule, and then hopefully get some sleep before waking up at an ungodly hour in the morning and repeating the process. I, meanwhile, will no longer be getting Tuesdays and Thursdays all to myself while dad dialyzes and mom works, and I'll also have to help mom with some of the load by cooking her meals as well as doing my chores every day of the week. (Dishwasher, house cleaning, laundry, trash hauling, cat feeding, etc. And of course anything dad needs help with.) So I'll probably be pretty exhausted. Maybe not, though. I don't know how it will all work out. I'll try and stay out of their way as much as possible, and of course I'll still have plenty of time to read and work on my novel. (154,000 and counting. I type too fast for my own good.) So it shouldn't be too bad. Plus once everything has been set up, dad will get to dialyze at home every day. This will not only be more convenient for mom, but it'll be healthier for him, and he can loosen his restrictions on things like potassium and liquids quite a bit as well. Which I'm sure will make him very happy. :) Maybe he can even go back to his proper Blood Type diet instead of having to worry about that stupid, ass-backwards renal diet all the time.

In other news, mom and I ordered Small Changes, Big Results by Ellie Krieger, a lady we saw on Food Network a few weeks ago. She has a new show there that airs on Saturday's at 1pm EST, and we decided we really liked her view on nutrition and food. She's actually realistic while still being health conscious, which is a nice change from those fat phobic moon fairies who shy away from flavor like it's the black plague, while at the same time INSISTING that if you do not completely overhaul your daily diet to include nothing but fiber wafers and tofu, you will not only be violating our animal brethren but you will drop dead in the next five seconds. Not six seconds, not eight, but FIVE SECONDS!! Do you know where your towel is, you uncompassionate morally bereft fat monger? =D

*ahem* Sorry. Got a bit off point there. ANYWAY, my point is: Ellie Krieger is actually pretty cool, and mom and are both pleased with the weight loss system outlined in her book. As the title suggests, it involves making very small changes gradually in your life instead of just going cold turkey and jumping in with both feet. It also does not involve eliminating any specific foods from your diet. According to her, you can have anything you want--it's just about moderation. She uses a system of "Usually, Sometimes, Rarely" to categorize food, which is great. Her system also combines well with Blood Type, which considering my aversion to wheat and sweeteners of all kinds I have no intention of leaving any time soon. The plan is twelve weeks long, and mom and I are both on week one. We actually went for a walk together last night. XD It was so freaking awesome. I haven't been on a walk in...well, years. Tennessee is so pretty, too. I finally got to stretch my absurdly long legs for a change! Woohoo! I hate being cooped up in this house all the time. It drives me absolutely crazy. But the book has quite a bit of exercise in it, so hopefully my stir craziness will wear off soon. (Plus I'll actually be in shape for a change! Yippee) I'll post updates as they occur, probably once a week as the plan progresses. Feel free to ask questions, or order the book yourself. ;) It's neat, I recommend it. You can also check out Ellie Krieger at www.FoodNetwork.com.

( Writing Diaries, pt. 13 )

Following up on the subject of writing for a second...after years of pondering and evading the question, I have finally come to the conclusion that Agatha Christie is my favorite author of all time. ^_^ I went to McKay and had a bit of a book shopping spree (yes, another one) while there once I spotted the Agatha Christie section in their Mystery/Thriller aisle. I've been spending the past few days reading Murder at the Vicarage. Technically I already know "whodunit", thanks to seeing it on PBS (they're bringing Miss Marple back on mystery! *DANCE OF PURE JOY*), but it's still an absolutely entrancing read. The layers of intricacy and subtlety woven in between the characters and the plot is just astonishing, and beautiful to behold all at the same time. I swear you can learn more about human nature from that woman's novels then you could taking a dozen different psychology classes in college or something similar. She's amazing. I want to be like her when I grow up. :)

I can't wait to read my other books as well. Several more are by Agatha Christie, and I got two more mythology books as well. One on American Indian folklore, which I've been keen on studying for years now but could never find a comprehensive source for, and another on Greek mythology, my original mythological love. (I used to absorb book after book on the subject when I was young) I also got an interesting book about iPods and how they work, published by the now deceased TechTV. Hey, as long as I don't actually have to see Leo Laporte, I'm happy. The guy knows his stuff but somehow watching him on television gives me the cold crawlies all down my spine.

( In which I rant a great deal about a television channel none of you probably even watch. )

To segue into the subject of gaming, OMG how fucking awesome does Final Fantasy XII look? And Final Fantasy XIII???? I saw the trailers for that game and my mouth hit the floor. I was seriously drooling on myself in awe. I sound like an illiterate fanboy, I know, but it's so amazing. I have never seen graphics like that before. And it was supposed to be IN GAME! Not cutscenes, but in game action actually rendered by the PS3's hardware as you play. If that's actually true...the English language lacks the words to describe my sheer joy, amazement, and respect for Square Enix and how far gaming has really come. Just think...as little as ten years ago, these kinds of graphics were unheard of. Impossible. Never going to happen. Go back another ten years and people probably barely even knew what gaming was, or thought that was just something delinquents did in the arcade. (Funny how gaming has been the root of all evil for...what, fifteen or twenty years now? That damn apocalypse is late AGAIN.) I can't wait to see what happens in the next ten to twelve years. Hopefully I'll even be a part of it. No matter what happens though, I know it'll be beautiful and fascinating.

In other game news - I am currently replaying Startopia, an activity which never ceases to amuse and delight me even though I've been through all the missions close to a dozen times now. :) I was playing Sacrifice, but I pretty much finished that game as well. It was a lot of fun, I enjoyed it. I'll probably go back to it in a few weeks to finish up the Persephone, James, and Charnel storylines. On Saturday I finished Unreal 2. I actually really finished it this time, instead of getting stuck on the last level like I did before. (I blame the game for this--it was not my fault in the least. That last level is really strange and they do not warn you in any way that the Tosk arm weapons suck you in and swirl you around. This coupled with the freaky gravity as the Dorian Gray hurdles towards it's doom makes for one really hard level. I used the "Fly" cheat a lot.) I have to admit, as much as I like Unreal 2, I was not pleased when I finished. The ending was sad, wrong, and thoroughly depressing. I felt kind of used, actually. Sort of like "I went through all that trouble, and this is all I get? WTF?" So. Yeah. There weren't any alternate endings, either, which sucked. Equally frustrating is the fact that when you restart the game, you aren't given the option to shoot the character responsible for said ending in the head with a Widowmaker. I tried. Really I did. Cheat codes and everything. No go. I suppose it makes sense from a game design standpoint, but wouldn't it be interesting if just once, a game let you do that? And then adapted the storyline to fit your actions?

Let's say I don't like how the game ends. There's a character responsible for how things end. He's at the beginning of the game. So I load a new game after finishing the first time, perhaps utilizing a "New Game Plus" option, like that which is available in many games nowadays. And as soon as I see him, I pull out my gun and I blow the bastard's brains out. Splatter, gurgle--dead. But instead of wigging out, like Morrowind did ("You have now created a doomed world, but because I am a pretentious P.O.S. I can't just say "game over" even though that's really what I mean"), the game actually supports my actions. There are consequences, yes, but I'm given a choice of how I deal with them. Maybe the crew on my ship thinks I'm losing my mind. Maybe they don't. Maybe I become an outlaw. Or maybe I tell them that I had a premonition, or that I'm from the future, or that I had compromising evidence that made what I did right. Maybe they reward me, or maybe they kill me on the spot. (Or try to) Or maybe I just tell them where to shove it and inform them the world's better off without that character in it, and that I'll be running away to a new star system now. Wouldn't that be cool? Even RPGs are so scripted these days. Hey, I understand there's no way a programmer can allow for every possibility, every choice, every option. That would take years to do, if it's even possible. It's not feasible. But I would like to see a game that's both a game...and a program. There are gaming elements into which you can immerse yourself, but it also supports you if you step back for a moment and say to yourself: "This is a program. I'm going to treat it like one." Because really, games are two things at once. They're a game, and they're a program. Most, if not all, games try to ignore the last part, but what if one didn't? I think it'd be cool. Perhaps not so well done in the beginning, but I think it would be really, really interesting and innovative. I hope someone does that eventually. If they don't, maybe I will. XD If it's possible, of course. It may not be. But wouldn't it be so neat if it were?

Well, I've rambled on long enough, and my stomach is clearly informing me that I should have stopped typing well over an hour ago. I'll wave goodbye to you all and say "matta ne", until next time. :) Comments, as always, are appreciated.